The Inquisition

I have come to the conclusion that no one really wants your all. If you give your all, you are a fanatic. If you give your all, there is no room for flexibility (according to others standards). If you give your all, you face an inquisition of people telling you how it should have been done.

My question is this? Are we not taught to give everything 110%? To try our hardest, and to do the best we can with each task? And yet, when we are given these tasks, we are told we are too green to be truly making these decisions (even though they were fine with us taking over the task before we changed things).


I understand that I am just venting, and most people will not know what I am talking about. But maybe you do. Maybe you too have brought yourself fully into a task you were asked to complete, only to be faced with everyone's opinions of how it should have been done. Maybe the project is working out well, and the kinks are also being worked out. And maybe, you go in to do that project and someone else has ruined four weeks of hard work and changed the system. They have wrecked your project, and somehow you end up feeling guilty and like you should have done something differently. But this is not true. You gave it your all. You tried hard. You succeeded. But perhaps it isn't truly about success, it is about the other people's lack of control.

My rantings for the day. Off to face another Inquisition tomorrow.

Reading Frenzy

Okay, so I am back to my usual speed of reading books now that a new Kate Daniels, Cassandra Palmer, and Anita Blake are out. Now, I love Kate Daniels as a series, and Curren is absolutely the most beautiful man (you know, other than Lampent in Amy Lane's series or Sydney Carton), but does it feel like they just create more problems for themselves? Okay, that's not fair, it's outside sources, but it's like the hits keep coming. I've come to expect it from Anita Blake, but I was hoping that this series would start to round itself out. Who knows? It might still, but I feel like Kate keeps putting herself through the ringer, and that maybe she'd be better off not knowing the truth all the time.

This last Cassandra Palmer was amazing as always (not that Kate wasn't). But there seems to be a mother theme going on here, as both heroines find out the truth about their lost parent. Of course Kate's ends ip being a manipulative and selfish witch (literally), and Cassandra's mother ends up getting her dead name cleared due to the fact that she's this ultra-cool incarnation of Artemis (Yes, the goddess). Let's see, who's story would I rather have? It's really a toss up with Curren thrown into the mix. Although, that's another thing I have a problem with: Curren didn't grow in the last book, and in fact the characters seemed to be at a standstill, other than Kate. Cassandra Palmers latest book allowed us to see growth in the main heroine, her guardian half demon, the mages, and Cassie's vampire. The book was more focused around story and relationship, rather than just story like the newest Kate Daniels title that had unbalanced relationships and a great story.

I haven't yet read HIt List because it has been too long since I read through the other 19 Anita's, but I'm on 11 and counting. Well get there eventually. But I hear good things.

Coming to peace with science

You know that point in the crime solving show where the ultra anal scientist who does not believe in any form of mythology, but values human life says, "It's just a body"? This doesn't make sense. Either the scientist was right and everything that makes a human beautiful is in their DNA and physical body, or we are just a vessel for spirits as people completely immersed in the mystical will tell you. Perhaps there is a third option though. A melding of science and mythology if you will. Perhaps we have a spark of life due to billions of years of evolution that is a miraculous process of creation, and that our DNA, our particular patterns, our existence, although based in the beautiful world of science, is the result of some form of fate. Perhaps this fate is a god or a goddess, or who knows what. But maybe the most amazing thing about humans is our connection to the divine and nature who both have their own set of "magical" properties.

There was a book I read for a class a few years back called Coming to Peace with Science, and it not only changed my life, but examined further how beautiful science is hen combined with the possibility of fate. I loved it! Check it out!

Writing

I have a great talent for starting something , but a terrible knack for being unable to finish the task. Not because I am lazy, although I sometimes feel that way. No, it's because I get fired up about starting something, lay out a plan, and dive in. The bad thing is that I often get hit with a bunch of rip tides. You might call it writers block, but I call it irritating. I want to write something catchy, that people will love and bombard the bookstore with their flouncing tendencies to pounce on the newest hit. And yet, I want to just be me. I read through the first couple chapters of my book, and think, "Are people really going to want to read this?" In reality, though, writing should be for me and not for the masses. Why have I started thinking about what everyone else will think, and whether another book about fairies will intrigue or bore? Why am I so worried about ratings and critics, and writing the next great novel about another world? The book is about magic and betrayal and the human heart and love, and that is not something I can quantify. We write what we know, and I know myself and I know people.

It's just getting down to it that is hard now.

Ghost Shows

I have a love-hate relationship with ghost entertainment since I saw The Sixth Sense and thought, "This would be way cool if they didn't actually look dead, or if you didn't look like a schizophrenic talking to air." What can I say? I have a Peter Pan Complex, and I have a need to save anyone or anything that I can. Needless to say that I like to watch shows, movies, and reality TV that have to do with Ghosts. Ghost Whisperer has been one of my favorites: not too scary, good actors, nice plots, good resolutions and creative thinking. However, sometimes it was unbelievable. I mean most people we walk up to would not believe the, "I have a gift. I see your dead Aunt" line. But for some reason, everyone always eventually believes. I will end my pessimism over this show with a movie-goers favorite quote: "It's in the script."


Ghost Hunters has been another favorite of mine. They are scientific, have reasoning skills, don't overreact or freak out, and are everyday people who enjoy the work. The one issue I have with the show is their lack of resolve. Exorcism, Wiccan home rights, Hindu cleansings, and so on play no part in their practice, and not all spirits are positive. 

That being said, my problem with Paranormal State is that they're always jumping to the conclusion that it is an evil presence and that prayer will solve everything. To be honest, the reason that a particular ghost may not like you reading from the bible is that you are acting just like the Christians they knew in life. They need help and you are reading them their biblical "rights" to get them thrown out of the house of someone who could help them. I have not watched an episode of this since the first few.


I have just four words for the show Ghost Adventures: Superficial, overemotional biker gang.
 
And to add to this discussion, I feel we cannot go forward without at least a head nod to Supernatural, who takes demon hunting and ghosts to even great crazy heights and helps us to realize how not terrible at all our lives truly are. I mean we could be hanging out with totally gorgeous men who can kick ass and meet angels, but hey... wait... that actually sounds like my nightly dreams. You know, except for that whole, "Let's kill them off like a really bad soap opera every other week."
I could go on for a long time, but I will end with just these five.  However, here is a bit of a philosophical side note, of little importance, but I have issues not adding my two cents. Is the industry of supernatural studies going to stay in a junior high Christian girls slumber party state of mind, or are we going to grow up, meld supernatural, paranormal and science and realize that ghosts are good and bad, that energy is neither created nor destroyed and so an entity may just be left over energy and not a ghost, and that what emotions we bring to that entity is what they emit. These entities, energies, spirits, etc. use our energy to communicate. If we are afraid, they will use fear, if we think they are evil they will be evil, if we show love they will be loving, and so on. Think about the emotion you are letting off, and think about the spirit or entity you feel, and draw the obvious comparison.

Theresa

Sleep Deprivation

Alright, so I have finally started my 2nd shift (sort of) after waiting to get off third for what was 5 months, but what felt like forever. And now, yes that time stamp is correct, and it is early morning. That's right, I finally get off third, but my body is like, "Hell no chicka." So okay, yes I get to watch episodes of Ghost Whisperer, but really? Is that the schedule I want to be on? Work, Ghost Whisperer, bed at 5 or 6 am (wash, rinse, repeat)? I was supposed to start working out more this week. But it's okay. I can wait until my body gets more acclimated. Maybe it's just a case of you always want what you can't have, but in this case it's not my mind, but my body that apparently wants to stay up until all hours of the night. Insanity.

Okay. Okay. I'm heading to bed. And maybe I'll start actually writing blogs rather than journal entries about my sleeping habits and possible book clubs. Nah.

To a new start...

I actually am starting this because I have about a million thoughts buzzing around in my head like bees, and I'm starting to get allergic to them. Obviously not really, but I wanted to start something new, and so I actually decided I would do an online book club. And then I thought, "But wait! What if I want to write my thoughts about the book down?" And Viola! I have a blog. I still refuse to get a twitter account, but here we go. Maybe people will actually care about the monotony of my thoughts. (As one of my favorite book characters, Anita, would say) Nah.